Relationships are really what makes the world go ’round, aren’t they? I
mean, good, positive, healthy and meaningful relationships provide us with
the richest experiences we have here on this old earth of ours. Your loving
spouse who shares everything with you; that best friend who connects with
you like few others do; the people at work who appreciate you and help you
to become the best that you can be; This is what brings joy to life!But… relationships can also be the bane of our existence! What really brings
more pain in this life than a broken relationship, especially when it isn’t
just broken but downright ugly!So, it behooves us to do all that we can to keep our relationships zipping
right along, doesn’t it? If we put our very best into our relationships we
can almost guarantee getting the very best out of our relationships!Through the years I have spent hundreds of hours working with people in
their relationships: Marriages, friendships, working relationships and
social relationships. Through it all I have seen some wonderful things and
some terrible things. It truly is the good, the bad and the ugly!But I have been able to find three core elements of successful
relationships. These are things that, when done over time, begin to create
for you the kinds of relationships that you truly desire. They are the kinds
of relationships you have always dreamed of.The key to remembering these three items is the acronym Z.I.P. Z.I.P. stands
for three things you can do – and begin to do immediately – to improve any
and all of your relationships. They are:Put some ZEST into your relationships.
Cultivate more INTIMACY in your relationships.
Develop a PURPOSE in your relationships.Let’s take a closer look at each of these three:Put some ZEST into your relationships.
By Zest, I primarily mean fun. Relationships were meant to be fun! We wouldn
‘t have been made with the capacity to have fun if relationships weren’t
supposed to have a little zest in them!Think about it: Don’t you usually start out most healthy relationships with
a lot of fun times. Whether it is going out to dinner or a ballgame, or
spending time playing a game or even just a lively talk, you usually have
fun as a major part of the relationship. Fun is some of the glue that bonds
the relationship.But as life goes on, specifically in a marriage, but in all relationships
really, the fun starts to go by the wayside. More and more it is about
getting the job done, whatever the job may be.To restore the relationship, to put a little zip into it, we need to
reintroduce the idea of “zest.”What about you? Have you lost the zest? What can you do to get it back?
Think of a specific relationship you have: What were the fun things you did
at the beginning of the relationship that acted as the glue that bonded you
together? Now, commit to doing those again and see if your relationship
doesn’t begin to soar again! If you can, develop new fun things to do
together so you can both start an adventure of fun together!Cultivate more INTIMACY in your relationships.First a couple of clarifications: One, I don’t just mean intimacy in the
currently common understanding, that is, sexual intimacy. I mean for all
intents and purposes, taking your relationship to a deeper level. Second, I
don’t mean that you have to start doing group hugs with your workmates or
having revelation sessions where the tissue flows freely.What I do mean is that every relationship that is mutually satisfying has a
level of depth to it that provides meaning. This is really what the search
is for in our relationships: meaning.Remember when you first started your relationship, whether with your spouse
or friend. All of that time was spent opening up, telling who you are, where
you were from, what your likes and dislikes are. There was a deep sense of
satisfaction with the relationship – that is why it continued. You liked who
they were and you enjoyed being known by them.But then something happens. We get to a certain level and the pursuit of
depth ends. We stop sharing feeling, likes, and dislikes. We stop sharing
joys and dreams and fears. Instead, we settle into routine. The daily grind
takes over and we stop knowing one another and we simply exist together. Now
don’t get me wrong, every time you get together doesn’t have to be deep.
Remember, I am the one who advocates in the previous paragraphs just having
plain old fun sometimes. But there is a need for regular times of intimate
connection where we go deeper with others.This is particularly hard for many of the male species like myself but it is
not only possible but healthy and needed! If we want to have the kinds of
relationship we were made to have, we have to open ourselves up to having
others know us and for us to know others.True meaningful relationships come when we are loved and accepted for whom
we are at our core, not simply for acting the right way in our relationships
so as to keep the other person in it.Think about the relationships you would like to see improvement in. Take
some time in the coming weeks and months to spend time just talking and
getting to a deeper level in your relationship. Specifically, let the other
person deeper into your world. You can’t force the other person to be more
intimate and you certainly can’t say, “Let’s get together and have an
intimate conversation,” because that would be too contrived. But you can
make a decision for yourself that you will let others into your world.
Perhaps this will be the catalyst for them doing the same.You can guard yourself from intimacy but then you won’t go much deeper and
you will feel a longing in your heart for more, or you can begin the
deepening process and see your relationships change for the better.Develop a PURPOSE in your relationships.The most meaningful relationships we have are those that are held together
by a common purpose and vision for what the relationship can accomplish, not
only for those involved but also for a greater good.Let’s face it, when people have a common purpose they feel like they are
part of a team and they feel bound together in that relationship. Even when
people may be disappointed in the people they are in relationship with, if
they have a purpose, such as raising the children, they are much more likely
to stick it out. Purpose creates bonds.So what happens if we are proactively involved in seeking out a common
purpose with those who we want to have a relationship with or those who we
already have a relationship with but we would like to see it go deeper with?
Well, it gets better and stronger.Think about your strongest relationships. Aren’t they centered around at
least one area of purpose or a common goal?What about a relationship that has cooled? Think back and see if perhaps you
used to have a common purpose but it has gone by the wayside.And what of your desire to see a relationship grow? Take some time to begin
to cultivate a common purpose. Sit down with that person and tell them that
you would like to have some common goals, some purposes that you pursue
together. As you develop these, you will see your relationship strengthen in
ways you never imagined!Let’s recap: You want your relationships to show a little “zip?” Then put a
little Z.I.P. in them:Put some ZEST into your relationships.
Cultivate more INTIMACY in your relationships.
Develop a PURPOSE in your relationships.
Put Some Z.I.P. Into Your Relationships
How to Clean and Deodorize Hockey Pads, Football Pads, and All Other Sports Equipment
Whether you are a soccer mom, a hockey mom, a young athlete or a seasoned veteran, you understand firsthand how awful sports equipment odor can smell. For years you’ve accepted the fact that you have to live with this equipment smelling up your garage, or that you have to feel uncomfortable in your own pads because they smell so bad. You’re in luck – there are several solutions to your problem. Some solutions work very well, while other solutions are much less effective. Below are the most popular ways athletes and professional equipment managers take care of their equipment.Vapor Fresh
Vapor Fresh is the single-best solution for smelly sports pads. Vapor Fresh is a sports equipment cleaning and deodorizing spray based on all-natural active ingredients. Your equipment will smell great simply by spraying Vapor Fresh onto your pads and letting them dry. Vapor Fresh is a quick, affordable, instantaneous and effective solution to foul-smelling sports equipment that is trusted by professional, collegiate and amateur athletes alike. Vapor Fresh can be sprayed on almost all types of sports equipment, from chest protectors and shoulder pads, to cleats and sports bags.Air-drying
Some athletes choose to air-dry their equipment. Air-drying involves giving pads plenty of fresh air and room to breathe immediately after wearing them prior to putting them back in a sports bag or locker. Although this method is simple, it is very time-consuming and does not eliminate the odor nearly as well as other methods.Jumping in pool
May sound odd, but some athletes choose to put on only their equipment that will not get damaged by water and jump into a pool. Apparently the Chlorine in the pool water can help briefly neutralize the equipment odor. This method is rarely used, and is one we do not endorse. The main problem with this method is that it does not treat all equipment, since things like hockey skates and cleats cannot go into the pool. This method is also not very effective at deodorizing. Jumping in a pool with pads on may be fun, but it could be dangerous and it will not remove the odor like Vapor Fresh and other sprays.Chemical-based cleaning sprays
Vapor Fresh is the leading sports equipment cleaning spray, but there are other options as far as sprays to deodorize your sports equipment. Other sports equipment sprays contain harsh chemicals such as Chlorine and artificial fragrances, which can be irritating and uncomfortable. Cleaning sprays not specifically meant for sports equipment can leave sticky residue or give the athlete terrible rashes. These chemicals are not a good option when it comes to cleaning your sports pads. Instead, opt for a sports equipment cleaning spray based on all-natural active ingredients.Conclusion: Vapor Fresh is the best option to clean and deodorize sports pads
When the odor from your sports equipment is too much to handle and you are looking for a solution, there is only one safe bet – Vapor Fresh. With its all-natural active ingredients, numerous happy customers ranging from individual athletes to large professional football and hockey programs, and sport-specific formulation, you are sure to love the results.Feel comfortable in your pads again. Play hard. Finish Fresh.
What Is Professional Relationship Coaching?
Relationship Coaching is the application of coaching to personal and business relationships. While many become motivated to seek help when struggling with their relationships, coaching and relationship coaching are positive, results-oriented professions that help functional people achieve their personal and relationship goals and is not a substitute or replacement for therapy provided by a licensed clinician trained to treat mental, emotional, and psychological disorders. While relationship coaches might be experts in relationships, the art and science of coaching is to facilitate success for the client without providing advice or “professional opinions.”
Origins
The label “relationship coach” has been used for many years by professionals (Psychotherapists, Psychologists, Marriage and Family Therapists, Social Workers, etc.) and entrepreneurial para-professionals with a wide variety of backgrounds.
With the evolution of personal/life coaching as a recognized profession in 1995 with training standards and certification initially established by the International Coach Federation, relationship coaching as a coaching specialty with its own professional training, standards, certification and methodologies was first developed in 1997.
Relationship Coaching Specialties
Singles Coaching
44% of U.S. adults are single, and 27% of adults live alone. If this trend continues, soon, the majority of the population of the western world will be single.
Helping singles have fulfilling lives and successful relationships requires understanding that not all singles are alike and most do not fit the stereotype of being lonely and desperate for relationship.
Here are seven types of singles:
Temporarily Single-actively seeking a partner and in between relationships
Recently Divorced/Widowed-recovering from loss and not ready for a relationship
Frustrated Single-wants a partner, not able to find one and gives up
Passive Single- wants a relationship but not actively seeking a partner
Single But Not Available- self-perception of being single and desires a lasting relationship, but “hooking up” to get needs met
Busy/Distracted Single-absorbed in being a single parent, career, school, etc. and doesn’t have time or desire for partner
Single by Choice- no desire for a partner, being single is a conscious permanent lifestyle choice for many reasons, including –
“Been there, done that, don’t want to do it again”
“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
Ascetic or other religious/spiritual reason
Loner
Values independence more than couplehood
Polyamory/alternative lifestyle that doesn’t lend itself to cohabitation
Celibate/asexual
Financial reasons
Aging
Health
Each type of single has their own unique developmental goals and challenges requiring specialized skills and strategies to effectively coach them to experience relationship success independent of the advice-driven approaches of other professions.
Couples Coaching
As with singles, not all couples are alike. Here are four types of couples:
Dating Couples: Self identify as “single” but have an on-going, non-exclusive relationship. “Friends with benefits” is one common way of describing these couples. These couples see the purpose of their relationship as fun and recreational. Dating couples often seek coaching when one or both partners want to take their relationship to the next level.
Pre-committed Couples: Both partners have decided to stop dating others and become an exclusive couple, and while co-habitation is common at this stage, no formal or explicit long-term commitments have been made. These couples often desire commitment and are testing their relationship for long-term compatibility. Pre-committed couples often seek coaching when they encounter a “deal-breaker” (also referred to as a “requirement”) preventing their ability to enter into a long-term committed relationship without sacrificing something important (such as whether or not to have children).
Pre-marital Couples: Both partners have decided to become committed, but haven’t yet acted to formalize their commitment (marriage, commitment ceremony, etc.). Many of these couples are acutely aware of the high failure rate of committed relationships and seek coaching to acquire the skills and practices needed for long-term relationship success.
Committed Couples: “Commitment” can be defined as both an “attitude” (belief) and a “fact” (formal, symbolic, even legal act). While most couples might think of their relationship as “committed,” if they haven’t acted to formalize their commitment they have the attitude but not the fact of commitment. Couples who have made a formal commitment sometimes bring up divorce in response to a problem, which can be a cause of confusion, consternation and conflict. Most committed couples are married or have formalized their commitment in a ceremony of some kind. These couples often seek coaching because they desire to find a way to successfully solve problems and “live happily ever after.”
Family Coaching
Family coaching includes nuclear and extended families, parenting, siblings, family businesses and co-housing arrangements.
Business Relationship Coaching
Productive businesses require effective relationships. Coaching business relationships can include workplace relationships such as manager-employee, peer-peer, between corporate divisions, teams, as well as customer and vendor relationships.
Comparing Coaching and Therapy
In short, coaching is a results and goal-oriented methodology that assumes the client is functional and fully capable of success, while (psycho)therapy is a healing profession trained and licensed to diagnose and treat mental, emotional, and psychological disorders. Coaching and therapy can complement each other very well. It could be said that coaching starts where therapy ends, making coaching a good fit for personal growth-oriented therapists.
Being a professional Relationship Coach is a fun and fulfilling way to make a great living as well as make a difference in the world. If you enjoy helping others and find that your friends, family and co-workers come to y
How To Rescue Love And Heal A Relationship Or Fix A Broken Marriage
Many couples experience rainy weather in their relationship at one point or another in their lives.
This is very natural since there are a lot of aspects that can develop common relationship problems and disputes in between couples and sometimes, nobody wants to pave the way.
This is where most of the relationship issues begin, when both partners do not recognize their faults and imperfections, and both are attempting to point out that they are best and it is always the other who is incorrect.
Disputes should never be reason enough to end a relationship. There are still easy ways to heal a relationship and effective rekindling the old love.
Interact with your Partner
Interaction is among the most effective keys to complete a relationship rescue strategy.
Because increasingly more couples these days breakup without even acknowledging the real reason things go wrong, this must considered on the to-do list of how to fix the broken marriage.
That’s why family counseling can open newer doors for seeing the light in repairing the relationship issues.
The Course in Miracles asks us to contemplate, “How much do you want salvation.”
Partners need to talk things over and voice out their sides and open up their grudges prior to being far too late when things are getting rather out of hand.
Through interaction, both will have a clear image of exactly what is going on, why the conflict is happening, and exactly what relationship rescue approaches can be done to exceed this duration.
When to Keep Quiet
Silence could not be the best solution for a reliable relationship rescue, but it does contribute a lot so a relationship struggle doesn’t worsen.
Frequently, when couples are having conflicts, they have the tendency to talk excessively and say things that can be hurtful, thus they disregard one of the most important parts of a relationship which is listening.
When to keep quiet and peaceful throughout a heated argument is something couples need to learn, because it’s always best not to raise voices, yell at each other, and worse, resort to physical violence to silence the other.
When both are angry, they must let their heavy emotions subside first before speaking because typically, a mad person speaks even without sense and never takes any reason.
Spend some Time Alone at Times
Previously I discussed and reviewed the many tidbits and free advice available online for saving the marriage or a love relationship when both parties are willing and ready to heal.
If communication and keeping silence did not work as part of the relationship rescue plan, having time to be alone could be a good thing to do for the meantime.
Conflicts have two impacts: one is to reinforce the relationship and two is to break the relationship.
If these disputes repeat in circles every day, the tendency is that both partners will be fed up, and thus the very first thing that concerns their mind as a solution is to end the relationship.
If both have some space for a while and try to reassess their sensations and recognize where their errors are, this can be avoided.
Give some Space
When he or she is not around, this can be a reliable common relationship problems solution due to the fact that in some cases individuals realize the importance of their partner.
These are some of the effective ways that couples can do in order to achieve an effective relationship rescue and rekindling the old love.
Both partners need to recognize that ending the relationship is not always a good path to take just to end a dispute, however rather follow these relationship rescue techniques to resolve them.
With all these things in mind, no matter what common relationship problems can be found in the relationship, both partners can get through these and make their relationship even stronger.
Finding Strength
Try to remember that unsettled arguments and disputes have a few effects, and one is to strengthen the relationship and open each other’s eyes, and another is to end the relationship.
These are some of the efficient lessons that can be learned in family counseling, and what to address so that you may save your relationship.
Both partners need to realize that leaving the relationship is many times not the best solution to end a conflict, however instead follow these marriage tips to solve them.
With all these things in mind, no matter what common relationship problems creep in, both part